The news from my lawyer is much as I expected. Some good, some bad.
I find it interesting that you are all up in arms about him using when the courts could really give a Sh!t less. It is pot, as far as I know, not meth. As far as they are concerned, even though it is illegal, they will NOT remove a child from a home or require supervised visitations for pot use. My lawyer has confirmed this fact.
So if I leave him, and he fights it, it is possible that even though he is using they could give him unsupervised visits with my son. My biggest fear at this point.
The good news is that my lawyer feels that I have a good case to get him to pay back a large portion, if not all of the money we owe to my parents based on the fact that we would not have had to borrow it at all had he not had the troubles he did. I have a spreadsheet showing why we have each debt and who is responsible for each portion. He says it may, or may not, help me with the remaining debt but for sure could help with the part to my parents.
So there you have it. Once again, hosed by the very system that is set up to protect children and punish criminals. I stay with DH because I know this system. I have been dealing with it for 12 years. They won't take my son for his pot use, whether he is dealing or not. In fact they might actually order me to let him visit him, unsupervised. How is that for justice?
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5 comments:
There are ways around the visitation excuse. It's ALL a matter of whether or not you want to do the work to go forth with a divorce or not. His past has spoken loud and clear and would be more than enough under several witnesses I am assuming you could muster up to testify he should not be left alone with the child.
You're right... I'm scared. I'm scared, scared, scared and I'm standing here all deer in the headlights waiting for someone else to push me in the right direction.
I need to go home an think. I have a meeting tonight. Maybe things will be clearer after that.
Your using that as a crutch. Where's he going to come up with the money to fight it? He won't. During the seperation period unless he goes to the courts and demands visitations then he will have to play by your rules. Again where would he come up with the money to do that?
I don't care if it's pot or not he's exposing your son to it. It's on his clothes, on his skin. Then he touches munchkin.
This isn't about just you, it's about munchkin. You talk about this deer in headlights thing.... I would think if someone were to hurt munchkin you wouldn't stop and stare. I would hope you would react right away. Why aren't you stopping his own father from hurting him?
You said in blogs a long time ago you would never allow yourself to be in the position where DHS was at your house.... I fear you aren't far from a visit.
I have to agree. Pot is the gateway-- you know that as well as I do. Pot is the cheapest and easiest to aquire. If he is going to the East side ... ans you know that he is... it is only a matter of time before he is given meth and then... dealing it for more... and then caught. And then... DHS is at your door for a second time... this time, you cannot say that you did ot know... and that you won't let him back into your house... b/c you have already proven that argument wrong.
-k
HUGS big HUGS! that is the best I can do right now. I cannot make a decision for you or judge you if your decision is not what I would have made. I can tell you I am your friend and will stand beside you no matter what!
Texas T
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