MY DADDY!!
MY DADDY!!
MY DADDY!!
I.
Can't.
Do.
This.
How much pain do I have to put my two year old through for the benefit of DHS and the court system before they realize that even sober he is not that great of a dad....
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Please Lord teach us to laugh again, but God don't ever let us forget that we cried.
I am a daughter, a sister, an ex-wife, a mother, and a person trying to make sense of the journey that got her to this place called recovery.
Sick and Tired Video
My Story
Adding your 2 cents
If your life has been affected by alcoholsim or addiction and you feel like you have something you want to write here feel free to e-mail it to me at neverforgetwecried{at}yahoo{dot}com.
I am open to guest posts as I know that sometimes it just feels better to be able to write it down and send it out into the world.
I am open to guest posts as I know that sometimes it just feels better to be able to write it down and send it out into the world.
The Players
Munchkin = My son
DH = My Ex-Husband
M = Possible New Love Interest
Mom = My Mom
Dad = My Dad
SIL = Sister-In-Law
MIL = Mother-In-Law
FIL = Father-In-Law
Step-MIL = Step-Mother-In-Law
Confused yet?
DH = My Ex-Husband
M = Possible New Love Interest
Mom = My Mom
Dad = My Dad
SIL = Sister-In-Law
MIL = Mother-In-Law
FIL = Father-In-Law
Step-MIL = Step-Mother-In-Law
Confused yet?
2 comments:
The only thing I could think of to offer up is: Quit talking about DH in munchkin’s presence period (unless Munchkin asks you); don’t even bring up his name! If you are talking about DH’s relatives, refer to them as Munchkins relatives and leave DH out of the mixture. Especially if you think DH will not be a permanat fixture in Munchkin's life. Munchkin needs to know they are HIS family regardless of how that came to be. I understand these things will be hard when you are going through what you are going through. When he hears you talking or hears stories about DH he of course will be re-wounded just the same as if DH had done it himself.
I am sure I can’t adequately explain this so there is a chance you may not understand what I am trying to say but….In my experience this is what I learned.
Removing yourself from this mixture will allow Munchkin to have the safety and confidence he needs in you. If he sees you as part of the conflict or pain then he will learn to doubt you to. Such as: Seeing you as being the one who pushed him towards pain, hearing you talk about something painful for him, and if and when him and DH reunite hearing what DH says and then wondering who is right mommy or daddy. If you never talk about it he doesn’t have to wonder, he will figure it out soon enough.
I know you want to do your part to make sure Munchkin stays united with his paternal family but….it could cause more harm than good! If they want to see him they should come to him and put in the effort that way you know their motives to do what is best for your son. If you take him to someone that backfires or causes him discomfort or worse yet pain then you risk being the “bad person”. You should not have to cart your son all over to see everyone in DH’s family because they want to see him. I understand your longing to do so; I just think at this point the risk outweighs the benefit.
And once again….I can only speak from my situation and how I felt when my mother did all the wrong things and all the right things.
:( So sad. I am sorry.
-k
Post a Comment