Days 13 - 22

Wow, what a week this has been. I'm not even sure where to begin to catch up but I want to get all of this down somehow so someday, when this all seems a distant memory and I'm fretting about the terrible two's or three's I can look back and think now that... that was something to get upset about... this is just a bump in the road!! :-)

Let's see, where I left off. On the 28th DH was supposed to come see Munchkin in the afternoon after I got off work. I picked Munchkin up about 12:30 brought him home for his nap and when he woke up I called DH. He, of course, started in with the excuses. He was doing things at the car wash, he was trying to get the apartment ready, etc.

All afternoon it was the same jazz, I'll be there in an hour, another hour, another hour. Finally, I'll be there tomorrow, I need to move some things into the apartment tonight. I have a guy from AA coming over to help me move.

Sunday, he called about 8:30. He said he was on his way over. When he arrived he mentioned something to me, kind of casually, about the fact that he was going to have to find a different place to live. His reason, that car wash was too much on the bad side of town. Bu!! Sh!t. We are miles away from there and he still went there from our house. Location means nothing and I knew that.

So finally he admitted that his cousin had gotten mad at him cuz he gave away a few free car washes and he had offered to pay for them but his cousin just said he had changed his mind and would rather make that area into an office. Again, a load of crap. Well, except for the free car wash part. I heard a message on his answering machine about that on Saturday and I questioned him about it and told him he better not be giving away free car washes because his cousin was doing him a favor by letting him live there. He, of course, denied even knowing who the message was from.

So, the fact remained, he had no place to stay and he sure as hell wasn't going to be on my couch for a month. So I got on Craig's List and ended up finding a place that is within 5 - 10 miles of our house. I figured that would take the, it's too far to travel, thing out of his list of excuses for why he couldn't come over.

After I found the apartment, we went and looked at it and then I found a few furniture items for him. I'm sure that I helped him a LOT more than I should have, but at that point I just wanted to do whatever it took to get him moved out and to start getting my life back.

Sunday night he went to look at the couch and then told me he was going to come sleep on mine but never showed up. I got a text from him about 4:30 the next morning asking if he could come and shower and get some clothes. I probably should have said no but I let him come.

Monday morning was the last time he saw Munchkin for 4 days. He saw him for about 15 minutes before work and then Monday night he was too busy moving. Every time I talked to him on Monday he was a complete ass to me. He would cuss and scream and at one point tried to tell me that he was loosing everything he had worked for, for 12 years and it was all my fault. Wait a minute... back that truck up. I told him the deal, he choose to continue to use and drink. He didn't like that answer and I believe I was called a few choice words before I was hung up on.

He showed up later that evening to get his things that I so lovingly packed up and put in our kitchen. He brought one of his druggie friends to move the dresser and the TV. I was less than impressed but they were in and out in under 30 minutes so at least that was a plus.

Tuesday I called him to ask a question and realized that he was home "sick." Damn, I hate it when I have a cold and can't go to work. So, I called the lawyer and asked her advice. I set an appointment for Friday to file a petition for dissolution. Tuesday night he was too sick and needed to stay home and sleep.

Wednesday night he was too busy moving. Which was fine because Munchkin went to my parents house so I could work late to make up for running around on Tuesday trying to get things for his apartment. (I know... I know... helping too much... but he is OUT) All told I would guess in the past week I spent close to a grand getting him out, but he's out and has all the things I'm willing to pay for.

Thursday he finally decided he was going to show up. He got here at 6:00 gave me the money we had agreed upon, but was severely short on the amount he needed to save to be able to pay his rent. Then about 6:35 he took a call from one of the drug houses and by 6:55 he was trying to leave. Munchkin said to him, no daddy... don't go back, yet he couldn't even stay for another 30 minutes until bed time.

When Munchkin said that to him he started to cry and then decided maybe he could stay for bath time, however 15 minutes later... nope, in fact he did need to go. He couldn't stay for 15 more minutes to put his son to bed.

When I looked on line the next day he made his first phone call two minutes after he pulled out of our driveway and his phone was lit up until 10:55 that night. I had been waffling about meeting with the lawyer. That pushed me over the edge. I met with her on Friday to have her get the petition for dissolution ready. It is the only way to insure that he can not run us into a bunch of debt before a divorce is final and also that he could not take off with Munchkin.

Friday is usually meeting night so Munchkin when to MIL's house. DH, of course told me he was tired from a long hard day and was just going to stay home and relax. His phone started ringing and 6:00 and didn't stop until Midnight. So much for sleeping huh?

Saturday was counselor day. He had his appointments in the morning, one to make up for last week and one for this week and I had mine somewhere in the middle. I talked with my counselor about the stress and anxiety I've been feeling and he gave me a book to read, which I have yet to pick up... dang it... which is supposed to help me with feeling more empowered and feeling like I have the right to ask for what I need. (Which I have HUGE problems doing with DH)

After the appointments DH had mentioned to me he wanted to get some movies and his Nintendo since there is nothing much on regular TV on the weekends. So I called him after I picked up Munchkin but of course he was "busy." He said he could probably come over in an hour but I told him I was going to lay down with Munchkin so it was either now or he would have to wait.

Looking back, I'm now well aware that he probably wanted to come when he was sleeping so he could just get his stuff and get out. After all... why spend time with your son when there are more important things to be doing. As it was, I called him at 3:30 when DH woke up and by 4:30 he was still no where to be found.

When I called to ask what the deal was all I was met with was attitude. I was being ridiculous, of course he didn't want to come over and deal with me, etc. I told him I could be upstairs, it was not about me it was about seeing his son. He finally showed up at 5:00. I headed for the stairs but he told me I didn't have to go upstairs. He was there all of 10 minutes when he started packing his things to leave and was met with "No daddy!! Don't go bye bye!!"

Which of course brought on the water works again, in him.. not munchkin. So he sat down on the floor and cried a little and held him, but 10 minutes later that was enough. He had to go... things to do. Oh so tired, needed to go home and relax. Of course on his way out he asks me about two folding chairs on our pack porch. Can he take them. What does a single guy need with two chairs? He of course gets defensive when I ask that and takes one chair and storms off. I know damn well that he is planning to have someone over to play video games and that's why it was so important to get the Nintendo and so very unimportant to see his son.

Sunday doesn't get much better. By 9:30 I had not heard from him and so I call. I told myself I wasn't going to but I DESPERATELY needed to get some work done and I needed someone to entertain Munchkin. He, of course, is sleeping. Having had another late night, I'm sure. The first thing I get from him is attitude. Followed by... more attitude.

By 10:00 I call back. He's not coming. I'm going to lunch at 11:00 anyway so he will just come after nap. Thanks a lot a$$hole!! As it turns out the weather is crap so we stay in and nap time comes at 12:00 instead of 1:00. I call him at 2:30 when Munchkin is up and amazingly enough he shows up at 3:00.

Then proceeds to take my two year old out in the cold to the garage so he can get his tools in order. In his small and meager defense Munchkin was dying to ride the mower and asked him so about 10 times so there was sort of a reason, but when it wouldn't start there was no reason to stay out there.

So, I went out, and of course I got more attitude. Finally they came out of the garage and played in the sandbox and Munchkin seemed to LOVE that!! After awhile they got cold and came in and there was a little playing inside. Munchkin wanted DH to eat with us so I asked him and he said he would. Then after I started cooking he mysteriously needed to leave. (I'm guessing after that text or phone call.) Of course Munchkin was upset but DH needed to go home and "relax."

Which brings us to today. I was supposed to go sign the paperwork today but I have a counselor meeting tomorrow so I'm just going to do it then. I still need to get some things together but I'm hoping that after this weekend we can just come to an agreement and get everything done quickly. Yesterday I asked him not to fight me on sole custody and he said he wouldn't. We will see if he sticks to his word.

Tonight, like every other night, he was tired and needed to stay home and "relax." Hell at this rate he should be the most relaxed person in the whole USA!!