Taking on the Problems of the World

October 23, 1994

"On like Wednesday or Thursday I had an emotional breakdown. [...] Everything all caught up with me at once. MS's anorexia and my fear of her dying. Thinking T liked me. M's other problems, S's Problems, J's, D's, L's, SD's, I's and the rest of the worlds!"

I was 14 years old and I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and it was all mine to fix. I was trying to save everyone yet no one was trying to save me.... least of all myself.

February 2, 1995

"I'm really bummed. the problem is I don't know why. I think it has something to do with worrying about everyone else's problems plus my own. Sometimes I wish my parents would take me to a physiologist. I can't talk to any of my friends about this crap and I can't talk to my parents. One thing out of everything that's bugging me is going to piss everyone off.

Let's see where to I start?"

I proceeded for four diary pages to list everyone else's problems that I was worried about. Everything from M's not eating to S getting in a car accident.

This continued to be the story of my life until... well basically until recently and if I'm not careful I can still slip back into that pattern VERY easily. Worrying about everything that I can not control.