09/08/1996

Today was the day of mass confusion. I was still high on life from my first "date" with DH but really bummed that I would not be able to go to the homecoming dance with him. He had already agreed to go with my sister's friend and my mom told me that if he didn't go with her he wasn't going with me.

My mom didn't think that it was polite or appropriate for him to dump her a week before the dance simply because we had decided we wanted to "date." At the time I thought that was extremely unfair. Why should he have to go with her when we were going to be together. Now, I look back and fully understand the wisdom of my mother's choice.

I just wish that at that time I had thought about what kind of man he would be. If he was willing to leave his date hanging a week before the dance how reliable would he be for me? But I was 16, I was young and "falling in love" and that was the furthest thing from my mind.

I wrote in my journal that I was "so confused I just wanted to scream. Nothing was working out and DH ad I and whatever we have are stuck in the middle." What did we have? I had been to his house once? Why was I so "stuck??"