Attitude Is Evertything

Attitude: A small word that can make a big difference

The two things that I can control in life, my attitude and my actions

These phrases have been running through my head since I finished with my Al-anon meeting tonight. Sometimes I just need a meeting to remind me not to get lost in the bad parts of life and instead to enjoy the good parts.

So far on this website my attitude has not been all that stellar. In a way, this website for me is a double edged sword. It helps me to heal by letting me get it all out there but it doesn't always portray my life in the most positive fashion.

So tonight I just wanted to take a few moments to focus on the positives that do exist in this life that I continue to choose every day. And that is the key really, I choose this life. No one makes me stay.

God, give me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I can change my life if I choose to. Thus far I have chosen to stay because I love my husband and for the most part I love the person he is becoming. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that.

Tonight I went to the store to get milk and his prescription. I sent him a text on my way home that read kitchen pls. When I got home the dishwasher was running and the counters were clean. Simple as that. Ask and ye shall receive.

Since I had no resentment towards him when I got home we were able to sit down as a family and eat dinner together. A very nice dinner in which Munchkin ordered us all around. Daddy eat... mommy pizza, etc.

After dinner I headed off to my meeting. I was grateful at that moment that he was able to stay home with Munchkin because just 18 months ago he wouldn't have been able to.

After my meeting I was driving home and I saw a man pacing back and forth on the street. He kept looking at his cell phone. In the neighborhood I was driving through, I know what he was doing. But I'm grateful today because that is not DH. I don't have to worry about what street corner he is on trying to score his next fix. I know when I get home the dirty plate may still be on the table (it was) but he is sober and my son is bathed, read to and sound asleep.

A little while later I passed a little league football game and I started thinking that in a few years that might be us and I am grateful that DH is going to be clean and going to be able to be a part of Muchkin's life in a way that a lot of addicts don't get the opportunity to be.

So many things to be grateful for, so much of a different outlook when you just change your attitude and your perception of the situation.

So, I guess what I'm saying is while I may write about some really heavy and depressing things here I need to remember to also focus on what is getting better and what is going well lest you all want to crawl into your computer screens and beat me with your old shoe!!
:-)