The Wedding

I will never, as long as I live, forget the day of IDM's wedding. And in talking with him, he will never forget it either. As his bride was walking down the isle I was the only person in the church not looking at her. I was too busy looking at him. Hoping against all hope that he would change his mind, tell her he couldn't marry her and bolt for the back of the church.

He said he remembers me looking at him. He's supposed to be watching is new wife walk down the isle and there he is looking at me as I'm looking at him. He says I was giving him a death look, I think I was just signaling the end of life as he knew it.

I remember telling someone that it was the most loveless marriage I had ever been to. Their toasts at their reception were I always knew they'd get married. Nothing about how much they loved each other, nothing about how they were destined to be together.

She wanted to be married before the baby so the wedding was rushed and I just remember thinking that will never be my day. And ya know what, it wasn't. My wedding was fancy and overblown and took a year and a half to plan and while they are just as miserable as DH and I were they are still married and we are not.

So, I guess in a way, neither one of us seemed to have succeeded.